404 | My Healing Journey Postpartum and My Early Rehab and Exercise

[00:00:05] Welcome to the Optimal Body Podcast. I'm Dr. Jen. And I'm Dr. Dom. And we are doctors of physical therapy, bringing you the body tips and physical therapy pearls of wisdom to help you begin to understand your body, relieve your pains and restrictions, and answer your questions. Along with expert guests, our goal of the Optimal Body Podcast is really to help you discover what optimal means within your own body. Let's dive in.

[00:00:29] Before we hop in and share Jen's postpartum journey and how that's going and what we've been doing and how she's been healing, which I'm so excited to share with all of you about, I need to talk about foot health and why Jen and I have chose to wear Vivo Barefoot shoes for pretty much everything we do in our daily lives.

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[00:01:37] So if you head down to the link in the show notes, you can get 20% off your entire order using code OPTIMAL at checkout and start optimizing your foot health today. All right, let's get into the postpartum story. So now we are talking into the postpartum healing journey and how that's been, how it's different from the first, which was the cesarean compared to now with the vaginal birth.

[00:02:00] And I have my list of questions or requests that people had made of what they want us to cover in this episode as well. Yeah, and a couple things that we didn't, if we realized we didn't even mention in the first birth story podcast, because there's so much that we went through and that episode ends up becoming a little long. And if you didn't get a chance to listen to that, that's from a couple weeks ago. So a couple episodes ago, you can go and listen to that. But did you have any tearing?

[00:02:30] Did you have anything like that, that again, sets you up for what recovery is going to be like in the postpartum phase? Yeah, exactly. So, so very different in that sense from the first, where some people get to the pushing phase and then still go into cesarean. For me in my first birth, we, I didn't make it past five centimeters or he didn't make it down very far. Yeah. So you're not even to active pushing yet. Right.

[00:02:56] And even though pelvic floor symptoms can happen just from being pregnant, right? Because all that added pressure and everything, but I didn't have any pelvic floor symptoms throughout pregnancy. And then I didn't have anything postpartum. So very, very, very different experience this time around because there's virtually nothing. Like I wasn't scared to go number two.

[00:03:22] I wasn't, there was nothing that I really had to worry about. Like, yeah, I had my scar that I was healing and wanted to make sure that I was healing that cesarean scar. But this time around, especially because what we went through in the birth story and talking about how I ended up pushing. And I ended up with a, a deep second degree tears, what she called it.

[00:03:49] So probably a little bit into the muscle and really bad hemorrhoids, like really bad hemorrhoids. Um, and so that was an experience and something we also didn't mention. And I want to put this out there because I think from providers, you might get scared to go into a VBAC or to do a, you know, depending on which one they might recommend. Yeah.

[00:04:16] So my first birth, our son was seven pounds, eight ounces at 42 weeks. Yeah. Average sized at birth. Average size. Two weeks over baked. And he was not coming out. Yeah. Didn't progress. For whatever reason, right? Seven pounds, eight ounces. This guy. Yeah. Where I had the vaginal birth. Uh, he was nine pounds, five ounces. So that's almost two pounds heavier.

[00:04:44] And measured larger in all aspects. Had circumference. Yes. Length. Weight. Yes. Everything was significantly larger. Everything was much bigger. And I had a vaginal birth. Now, wouldn't it be a proper postpartum podcast without also mentioning that I'm taking supplements to help support my mind and body, especially because I'm exclusively breastfeeding. And you might've heard me mention them before, but needed. Needed.

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[00:06:35] Are you taking your prenatals? And I am. It's so crucial to continue to maximize our nutrition, especially in a postpartum phase when you're breastfeeding to help support your baby. So if you're looking at all and you're wondering what is the best, this is part of my research, what I've done, what my RD has recommended. And I highly, highly recommend checking out.

[00:06:57] And truly from like the reasoning that the OB could give me in the first birth as to why we couldn't have the cesarean, the only reason that he could provide. Why you couldn't have the vaginal? Oh, sorry. Yes. Why I can't have the vaginal? He said, the only thing I could say is that your pelvis was too small. But however, he did qualify that by saying, however, I know other women who have then gone on and had been able to have vaginal birth.

[00:07:26] So we don't know. And I appreciate that he, you know, didn't just end it with your pelvis is too small. Because then what would that lead most women to believe? I can't have a vaginal birth. I have to have a cesarean for everyone. And like I had a baby that was almost two pounds heavier and came out vaginally. So I just want to put that out there. Now, healing. Very different story. Yeah, what's that been like? Now it's much better.

[00:07:57] When we're recording this, I am... Two months. Ten and a half weeks. Yeah, close to two and a half months. Yeah, some ten and a half weeks postpartum. And it was very scary to go to the restroom, number two for me. Yeah. Very scary. Like we had girlfriends who had gone through the same experience and was able to talk to strategies. And mindset with them. It's a lot of just mindset.

[00:08:29] So they will teach you at the hospital. Because one of the questions on here was like, what did you do? Like how did you take care of yourself? Did you put anything, you know, to help heal? And at the hospital, they have all of the tools that you need for like the ice pack and the tuck pads, which is essentially... Witch hazel? Witch hazel. Yes, thank you. And then if you... And they have like spray that you can put down if you get all the freedom mom stuff.

[00:08:59] Like get all the freedom mom stuff. Because that was essential for me. I used those ice packs for so long until I felt comfortable not using them. And like they have the spray. They have the witch hazel. Long things that you could put on there. They have everything. So I would definitely like load up on freedom mom. Put that on your registry. Get as much as you need. That was essential. And use it for however long you feel like you need the support. I think that's essential as well.

[00:09:27] And essentially, it was just... I would say the first two weeks, even though I was doing my breath work, I was doing my rehab exercises, I was doing what I needed to to help support my body. And it just... It did feel like, you know, I'm prolapsing all over the place and things are falling out. And you don't know what is going on. And you feel out of control a little bit with your body. It's so foreign.

[00:09:54] And so those first two weeks, it is hard in the sense of feeling like you don't know what... Like if you've never had a vaginal birth. This was my first vaginal birth. So I didn't know what to expect. So it just feels like, oh my gosh, it's so severe, right? In those first two weeks. And then after that, it really starts healing. And you're like, oh, actually there is light at the end of the tunnel. And then four weeks and then six weeks and then eight weeks.

[00:10:20] Eight weeks is where I really started to feel so much better. And I even think that my like bringing that up is very important because it kind of mirrors. And again, I'm not trying to say anything is equivalent here, but it mirrors the mindset, say an athlete has after like a really major injury, like a high level athlete or someone who competes tears their ACL. Those first two weeks after are devastating. You never feel like you're going to be the same.

[00:10:47] You never feel like you're going to be able to move the same way you did, compete the same way you did. And it's important for us to continue to talk about that more and more with people who give birth because it's a trauma to the body. It's a physical trauma to the body that really requires a thoughtful rehab and recovery plan. Yeah. So I was doing my intentional breath work from day one from the hospital.

[00:11:14] And that includes just making sure like, can I feel the pressure into my rib cage and start to expand from my rib cage, relax the rest of my body as I'm doing long, slow, deep exhales. Not necessarily trying to contract anything or pull anything and just trying to focus on reprogramming my breath because my breath is what's really going to help to re-coordinate the rest of my core and the eventual movement of my pelvic floor. Right. So really starting with that was essential.

[00:11:44] And then like there's different things you could do. You can kind of put like a wedge or a pillow underneath your bottom and put your legs up the wall and just do your breaths that way as well and feel a little bit of gravity assist with your pelvic floor to kind of come back in towards you. Um, and then I do have a free postpartum guide and we'll link that up in the show notes as well. That was more geared toward what I did for cesarean birth, but so much of those exercises

[00:12:13] can all be used for a vaginal birth as well. You've talked about wanting to update that now that you've had this experience too, to kind of include a more cesarean tilted version and a more vaginal birth tilted. Exactly. I mean, and there's, it depends on what happens during birth as well. I mean, there's, there's, there are so many things that can happen. You could not tear at all and you could tear really a lot more severely than I did.

[00:12:42] Um, and, or you can get other injuries to like the pubic symphysis area. So there's different injuries that can happen during birth. So there's not going to be a one size fits all. And this is where I was very adamant, especially with the symptoms that I was feeling. So symptoms that I was feeling in particular was heaviness in my, in my pelvic floor region, if I would do a little bit too much.

[00:13:06] So if I was up and carrying the baby a ton, um, or, or trying to pick up Dante, that was the bigger one. Not necessarily the baby, but more so picking up Dante. Um, I would, he's wriggly. Well, he's just, he's just heavier. And so I would, I would feel a lot more pressure into my pelvic floor region. And so there's different things that you can do. You always want to like, sometimes you can't help that you're going to have other kids at home and maybe you have limited help.

[00:13:34] You know, maybe after two weeks, you don't have anyone else helping you. So having your toddler try, try to empower them to climb up on things as much as you can get them onto a higher surface prior to picking them up so that you're not going from the ground and having to lift that way. Um, keep them really close to your body as you're going to pick them up and exhaling as you're picking them up. So those are all strategies to kind of help and then trying to empower them to like play

[00:14:01] with toys or help you or do different things so that they're not in your arms as much is going to be huge because the, it was especially toward the end of the day when, you know, everything is just really tired. That's when I would start to feel symptoms kind of amp up like, Oh, I've been, I've been wearing my guy too much or I've been, and I didn't, I don't think I wore him until two weeks postpartum really, or maybe I did earlier.

[00:14:27] No, I think he took pretty good naps in his bassinet before that. So you may have waited at least a couple of weeks for that. Yeah. One challenge that we didn't mention that we kind of alluded to in the birth story podcast is so we talked about how we noticed Dante was a little sick the night before you went into labor and have the baby went through that whole story. Again, you can go back and listen.

[00:14:54] And Dante Jen's mom brings Dante, our older son to the hospital. And that's when we see it, he has these marks all over his hands and we're like, Oh my God, I think he has hand, foot and mouth. And we go home and definitely he had hand, foot and mouth. And so we are practically needing to quarantine apart from each other.

[00:15:20] Because the last thing we want to do is expose newborn less than a day old to this hand, foot, mouth disease. Yeah. We're not just talking a cold. Like some people are like, they could be together. They're fine. And I'm like, yeah, he was running a fever. He was all the signs, symptoms. So the first three to four days were pretty much keeping separate. Yeah. And we were apart.

[00:15:44] Whenever Jen needed anything, I would need to like, yeah, try and run up and scrub myself, scrub my arms, face, neck, quick, hold little Luca. Either hope that Dante was napping or would be okay. And you were trying to like, go see him for a half hour, 40 minutes a day just to have some time with him. So that was a really interesting, you know, first few days with the baby home.

[00:16:13] I felt like I got a little sad towards the end of that because I'm like, man, I feel like I've held our new baby a couple hours, the first four or five days home. And that was it. But that was also the blessing of having, of me having a vaginal birth. So this is where I would say this would have been really difficult if I had a cesarean because when I had the cesarean,

[00:16:36] it was difficult to get out of bed. It was difficult to pick up the baby. And I've heard of other women doing too much too soon and tearing open their cesarean scar. So that was the last thing, the last thing I wanted to do. So I was really protective. So I had a lot of help from you. You would bring the baby to me to nurse. You would change the diapers. You would, you were doing a lot in those first two weeks to really help support my body to be able to heal.

[00:17:06] And so flip that around. Yes, I have a vaginal like injury, but I can get up and move. I could use my core. I could lift at least the baby and feel okay in order to bring him over and do changes and feeds and stuff like that. Had I not had that, we would have had to have extra help. Like, I don't know. And that was one of the major reasons why I wanted to have the vaginal birth as well. One,

[00:17:31] I didn't want my toddler kicking my scar or trying to avoid that. And two, and I wanted to be able to pick him up. I wanted to be able to do a little bit more for my baby. So I'm very grateful. At least we, I had that opportunity, um, with having the vaginal birth. Yeah. And I know you talked about if you feeling sad for not holding Luca and stuff, but Oh my gosh, my postpartum hormones were

[00:17:57] wild. Having a toddler that was sick, hearing him crying and not being able to just go to him because I have the newborn that I'm trying to quarantine. That was the hardest postpartum. And I had so many moms that also reached out and said, I see you, this happened to us. It's so hard. You got this. That meant so much to me also because I was in tears just not because I was necessarily

[00:18:23] postpartum with Luca or like any struggles with Luca or anything, but because I couldn't go to my toddler who's like crying and so sad, wants his mom. I can hear him from the room, you know, and, and that first time I got to hang with him for like 45 minutes, I cried the whole time. He's probably, I was like, Oh my God, he probably thinks what is wrong with my mom right now. But I was just, I was so grateful and sad and Oh my gosh, the postpartum hormones were going crazy in

[00:18:52] that first time. So I would say the first week was really, really hard emotionally on me. Again, not because I had like postpartum depression, but because I was sad to be away from my toddler. Well, and on top of that are dealing with the postpartum hormone shifts, which amplifies some of that sadness and some of those emotions. And yeah, that's absolutely okay. And I think even in

[00:19:16] us recording this, like I need to bring up how privileged we are that we both work from home anyway and have the flexibility like to build in our own maternity leave or to step away a certain degree from work. And yes, work and business might suffer a little bit during those periods, but just to have the ability to do that is not something everyone or not something most people

[00:19:44] have, you know, understanding that many people in our country still have one of the parents going directly back to work, you know, which was pretty much you. Yeah, pretty much me. And on top of that, I'm not working 40 hours and away from the house. Yeah. Um, so yes, I'm trying to do some work and trying to stay on top of some things, but still being able to be around and being able to, when you're saying, Hey, I think I need to go poop.

[00:20:12] Can you come up here? Can you come up here? Cause this might be a little while. I'm going to give it time. I'm not pushing anything. I know. So I would come up and be able to step away from work, hold the baby for an hour. Oh, right. No, hold the baby for whatever time you need, uh, to, to see if you can approach normal toileting strategies again. Um, and yeah, being able to be there during that time in whatever

[00:20:42] capacity we needed is something that I'm so grateful for because I know that that's not the case for everybody. Yes. And, uh, pretty early on, we still had help with Dante. So outside of him being sick, um, Grammy coming. Yeah. We still had help with him during the day so that you could get some work done. Um, and I just kind of rested and was with Luca as needed. Um, so we had the help and I think

[00:21:09] that's, that's huge as well. Like, again, I'm not there healing and taking care of Luca and taking care of a toddler, which a lot of people are. I know. I think about the hand foot mouth situation and like, if you were a single parent or someone trying to navigate that on your own, that would be insane. Um, so I want to ask you about bleeding and you know, the recovery, you know, of the tear

[00:21:38] and of the uterus and how your bleeding didn't seem to be stopping on the normal schedule. Well, as you know, from the birth, I had a little bit of basically postpartum hemorrhage and I had a piece of placenta that was stuck. And, um, that actually happened after our miscarriage as well. Yeah. I had a piece of tissue that didn't, um, work its way all the way out. So I had to end up

[00:22:05] going for the DNC and this time around, I, you know, was, I just had consistent bleeding. And then I went to my six week follow up and she kind of seemed a little concerned about it that I still had bright red bleeding and that I hadn't experienced a day of not stopping at all. Yeah. And I thought, Oh, does it always stop at six weeks? You know, like, isn't it okay if I go a little bit over?

[00:22:33] Cause many people by that point are pretty much completely done bleeding. Yeah. And we even asked my dad who works in obstetrics and delivers a lot of babies. And he's like, he gave his percentages cause he knows all that stuff by heart. He's like 90, 95% of people are done bleeding at this point. Well, he said like for most breastfeeding moms, which I was exclusively, I am exclusively breastfeeding. He said between four and six weeks, it's pretty normal. And then, um, beyond that for

[00:23:01] people who maybe aren't between six and eight weeks. Um, and I, and when I asked him about it, I was at eight weeks. And the reason I asked is because after that six week appointment, I feel like I ramped up in the bleeding for a little bit and I actually went a little head. So this was especially after one of my pelvic floor physical therapist therapy appointments. Well, that's what I

[00:23:28] was going to say as well. I scheduled pelvic floor physical therapy at six weeks postpartum. Um, they didn't do any internal. She still hasn't done any internal and I'm now 10 and a half weeks. Um, but we've just been working through, uh, feeling pelvic floor contraction externally and then doing everything I need to externally, which is pretty much how we treat anyways here on Gen Health.

[00:23:51] So that was kind of nice to have that. Um, anyways, they did a little manual work. One of the days on my, just, uh, just around my, my belly area and the physical therapy assistant went a little harder than the physical therapist, which I liked it. It felt great. I liked, you know, working through the tissue in that way. I felt like my insides needed some reconfiguring. Uh, not that that's what you're

[00:24:21] doing with manual work, but anyways, it felt good. The next day I had pretty bad cramping, like really bad, uncomfortable, consistent cramping, and then heavier bleeding, which can happen if you push on the uterus again, but it wasn't necessarily stopping. So it was going for a few days even.

[00:24:45] Yeah. And, and at this point you had already started doing some workouts even before six weeks, a little bit. I think I started at like almost six weeks, almost six weeks. And you had done a few workouts and, you know, not like heavy, heavy weights of course, but like just to get back into the movement patterns and start to introduce the body back to that stuff. And so then now you're

[00:25:09] having this pretty heavy cramping, heavy bleeding. Um, well, and I will say after my six week appointment, because she was a little concerned and, and she told me to rest. So I had that appointment on like a Thursday and then I rested the Friday, Saturday, Sunday, literally didn't even go on a walk, like did nothing. And there was no change in my bleeding. And so I was like, well, I'm over that. So Monday, I got back to working out. I went back to working out because I was like, well, that's the

[00:25:39] best patient. It didn't change anything. It didn't, I didn't have a decrease in bleeding. I didn't like one of those medical professionals. No, no, I'm just telling you, I did what she asked. She asked me not to do anything for a couple of days. I'm giving you crap, but I was totally supportive of you getting back to movement. Well, I went back to movement and I felt like my bleeding had decreased a little bit and I was like, it's looking better. And then it was after that physical therapy appointment at like seven and a half weeks where I was like, oh, things feel horrible again.

[00:26:09] And I feel like that kind of flared up some memories for you of when you were getting the cramping after the miscarriage. And in our minds, you know, like it was like, oh, your body's probably realizing, hey, there's something else in here still and is trying to pass that through now. Right. And so that's when I was like, you know, I don't want to feel cramping anymore. Like I'm over

[00:26:35] this. I'm over feeling postpartum at eight weeks, like that postpartum, obviously postpartum, the brain and the body, like it all kind of feels postpartum, but like the bleeding, I was done with it. I didn't want to feel it anymore. And maybe it mentally went worse for me just because of the, the, the midwife kind of made it feel like I should be done. So then mentally I'm like, why am I not done? Right. Instead of just allowing it to play out how it should have. Um, so at that point, that's when I

[00:27:04] asked your dad, is this normal? Like I'm getting cramping. That doesn't feel normal. Didn't remember that after my first, um, after my first birth. And so that's when I was like, okay, I need the DNC. Like I'm ready. Like, let's just get this done with because I'm over it. DNC being the procedure they do to remove extra tissue that may remain in the, in the uterus. And, and the biggest risk is

[00:27:30] you don't want to get an infection. Yeah. That's biggest risk is infection. And so, yeah, you called in and scheduled that. And we were kind of talking with my dad because then a few days later after you schedule the imaging bleeding seems like it's stopping again. It hadn't ever done that. And you were getting some goopy discharge, which sometimes can mean like, oh, it's more than just

[00:27:54] blood. Maybe this is the body passing some membrane or tissues or whatever. This is all just conjecture on our side. We don't know for certain anything, but we're telling my dad this and he's kind of saying you can do it one of two ways. Like maybe your body is passing what you need. Maybe you wait another week or so to get the image, the ultrasound and see did your body actually pass this. If the bleeding stops and the cramping stops and you feel great, maybe you don't need it. And then

[00:28:24] on the other side, he said, you know, really the only major risk is infection. And if you have the means or if your insurance covers well enough, just go get the image and, you know, and make sure. Check. And yeah, so I went through like a little battle in my head that day where I had the image and I was like, I'm gonna let me reach out to them and see if I should just cancel because last night, like I didn't really notice bleeding. And so I reached out and I said, well, this is what

[00:28:52] is happening. Like, should I cancel? And she was like, great, we're canceling. And then the next time I go to the restroom, I noticed red blood again and a little hint of cramping. And I was like, maybe we should keep it. Yeah, let's go back. And so I tried and they were like, oh, appointment's gone. I was like, okay. Well, so then it was just kind of like, okay, well, let's wait and see. And that was the last red blood, red blood that I had seen. And then after that, it just kept

[00:29:20] getting better. And I'm, for me, every time I worked out, I felt better and the bleeding was less, which is everything opposite of what they usually say. So I continued to move. I continued to work out. I really had a monitor, particularly for me, lower body workouts. I'm not trying to go heavy, but I'm just trying to, you know, start to ease my way back into strength. But even just lifting

[00:29:46] lighter, I would sometimes get a little dizzy. So I had to really monitor like my breath, my, how much I was lifting, how much I was doing and how much rest I was getting. So bleeding could have impacted how I was working out as well, which I have heard from other, another PT as well. She said that she bled for quite a while, probably 10 to 11 weeks, and she did keep working out. She was doing

[00:30:14] CrossFit. And so she passed out a couple of times because your body is going through so much and still bleeding. So that is one thing that I would say, just watch out for if you're getting back to working out, don't go aggressive. Definitely. And I want to kind of hear from you because getting back to working out, getting back to exercise, I think something that people are always worried about is like, the leaking and other pelvic type symptoms that can arise because you don't really have that

[00:30:43] same connection anymore. And that's what a lot of people want to build back. Like, what do you feel like you did either pre-pregnancy or early postpartum that kind of helped you feel more confident stepping back in? Because I haven't heard you talk at all about leaking during lower body lifts. Because I'm not. I'm not having any... So the main pelvic floor symptoms that I would feel was by the end

[00:31:12] of the day, if I was holding Dante a lot, or if I was carrying, if I was baby wearing a lot, then by the end of the day, I would feel some pelvic floor heaviness. And that started to ease up coming up to eight weeks. And then now I don't feel any pelvic floor heaviness now, 10 weeks out. And we did go to a little mommy and me class with Dante where I did gymnastics with him.

[00:31:43] And I went on the tumble track with him at six weeks postpartum. And I was encouraging him to jump. So I did some jumping with him and I had no leaking. And I think this goes back to, I mean, obviously I'm so grateful to have so much pelvic floor education. I've taken so many courses on it beyond just what we have in physical therapy school. So I know so much more and I have the privilege to understand my body in that way.

[00:32:13] But things that I really focused on was one strength training and a lot of hip mobility work and pelvic floor mobility during pregnancy. So that was huge. And then afterwards, getting back to a lot of, again, the breathing, the basics, the mobility, the spinal work, the upper back work, the rib cage work. We don't realize how much our pelvic floor is integrated into what's happening

[00:32:40] above as well. It cannot just be what's happening below. And already, typically when you're starting to feel heaviness symptoms, the number one thing you want to do, and what I wanted to do as well, is clench and hold it up, right? Like, oh, things feel like they're falling out. So I want to squeeze. And what that ends up doing is just creating a tighter pelvic floor, which is not a functional pelvic floor. A tighter pelvic floor and also like a miscoordinated pelvic floor because you're just

[00:33:09] holding it tight at all times when it maybe should be relaxing at certain times or holding a different level of tension at certain times. Right. And a muscle is strong if it has the full availability within that range of motion. So it needs to be able to lengthen. It needs to be able to contract, right? And so I was kind of already up in a contracted position, which is what happens to a lot of people. So that, and that's what we worked on mostly with pelvic floor PT. So getting back to my

[00:33:36] lateral rib cage breathing and really reinforcing my body to repattern how I'm breathing, to help relax and just improve how my diaphragm is moving to help improve how my pelvic floor is moving. A lot of pelvic floor stretching. So doing things like happy baby pose, hip 90, 90, addactor, addactor rocks, hip flexor stretch. So a lot of things that help to relax tension around your

[00:34:05] pelvis and around your hips, around the muscles will help to relax tension in the pelvic floor. Also just deep squats against the wall, doing some breathing. One of the things they really wanted me to do, which I would say is the heart was the hardest exercise to get to is full body relaxation. So 10 minutes of like really thinking about each and every part of your body relaxing. So maybe you've heard of those meditations when you're like, relax your right toes, relax your right foot, you know,

[00:34:32] and it kind of gradually goes up the body. So starting trying to think of that, that was the hardest exercise to get to. Giving yourself 10 minutes of being able to just lay on your back and think about nothing. And do nothing. When you have the toddler and newborn. Yeah. It's tough. It is tough. But yeah, so you have to get to relaxation. And I think that has helped humongously. Hugely. Is that a word? Hugely. I think so. Humongously. In a humongous way.

[00:35:01] That has helped hugely within my recovery journey in order for me to feel strong and get back into workouts. And then I will say having, again, this is what is so great about having a husband who works from home is having the opportunity to go and do those workouts. Yeah. Yeah. Like I can say, here, take the baby for 30 minutes while Dante naps. Or even if Dante's awake, like can manage them for 30 minutes.

[00:35:30] Yeah. And go do a workout. Like most people, again, I would say don't have that opportunity. So, but I have worked out with little Luca staring up at me. So even if it's when the toddler's napping and the baby can just like be, I don't like to put them in carriers for very long or not carriers, but like bouncers or static things. But even just having him there for 30 minutes and then being able

[00:35:59] to do my movement has been so helpful. So that's, and then I have a friend that comes and works out with me so that I have that accountability. All of those play in so much within my recovery in order to even be able to get to my workouts. Well, thanks, babe. I think that we've had a pretty good balance and I'm going to do some rapid fire questions from people that asked you questions on Instagram. One of them, I kind of chuckled, how you cope with not comparing who's doing more,

[00:36:29] especially when stressed and tired. That is hard on social media. On social media, you see the highlight reel. Oh, with who's doing more with the partnership. Yeah. I guess I don't know. I think maybe they're referring to like, who's doing more of the, you know, partners or the father, mother who's doing more. And it's like, I can answer to this, like I would feel guilty because, so for this second baby, we've decided

[00:36:56] to kind of just co-sleep in these first few months. And I don't know if you didn't want to mention this because people like to, you know, judge if you want, I dare you. You can. Gotta get sleep. Right. But we have just found like, it's a much better way to get sleep than the first time around where we were getting up every 45 minutes. We pretended not to co-sleep. We ended up co-sleeping with Dante every night. We would end up co-sleeping at two or three o'clock in the morning anyway,

[00:37:21] because he was waking up every half hour. Yeah. And with the co-sleeping, like he essentially was like sleeping on you or right next to you. And you would just be dealing with him every time he would get up or stir or eat some more or do the diaper change. And I would feel so guilty being like, I can help. But then when you would ask me to do something, that's like, you don't go back to sleep anyway, because then I do whatever changes diaper, bring him back to you. And then he sleeps on you

[00:37:48] anyway. So now, you know, when we're two and a half months out there, there are a few more times during the night where you'll wake up and say, Hey, can you just try burping him? He seems uncomfortable. I'll try to burp him. And then I'll just like sleep in the rocking chair with him for hour, hour and a half, maybe, or lay on the couch and have him sleep on me for a little while. And that's been, that's been nice. But yeah. Any advice on how not to get angry at your partner for

[00:38:13] not doing enough? I mean, it's hard. There's going to be a disconnect at some times because you're tired. You're, there's a newborn, there's a new situation within the household. So it's just, there's a lot going on. Um, I'm so grateful to have a man who likes and appreciates cooking. So, and you batched a lot of stuff and we had friends that brought stuff, um, to help as well.

[00:38:41] So like, there's just, if you could do anything for postpartum parents, especially postpartum parents of two, like bring them batched food options. Yeah. Whether it's frozen or, yes. Frozen is best. Especially if they can freeze it and just reheat it. Yes. That is great. It's just so nice. Like breakfast options, give them breakfast burrito options or, or something, or like a quick lunch option or a huge soup that they can keep reheating

[00:39:06] and be using the soup. And we had one friend that gave us just like big, um, frozen bags of like bone broth type soups and the, you know, very nourishing and very good. So just food postpartum, like not seeing the baby, but just giving. And I was grateful that being that he came maybe a little earlier than we expected. I had created all these different batches of crock pot meals that we still

[00:39:34] have some of to just like toss in a crock pot and you'll have a meal ready for later and some for the next couple of days. So, yeah. So that was huge postpartum. Um, and I do want to just answer real quick because I know the main question is what's the difference between vaginal and cesarean. Yeah. And I feel like I kind of answered, but I mean, it's just going to be very different

[00:39:58] healing situations, especially for different situations that everyone is in. Um, I personally believe that a vaginal birth though hard in its own ways was easier to be able to get up and move right away, easier to get up and, and do what I needed to for the newborn and for the toddler earlier than I suppose I could have for the cesarean. Also, I would have wanted to really be careful of my scar

[00:40:26] around the toddler. Um, and I just didn't want to be dealing with those things. However, then I also had the new heart of like feeling this pelvic floor heaviness and is this my new norm and what is happening and how long is this going to take to heal and what, you know, um, and going to the restroom, all the things. So there's just a new level of heart and that's okay. So I don't know if it compares, like some people will probably have the cesarean and say that it's easier, you know? So I

[00:40:54] don't know that it's about a comparison. There's just different, different things to be aware of in terms of, okay, I'm healing my pelvic floor. So I want to make sure that I'm not gripping too much. I'm doing a lot of down regulation prior to introducing a lot of strength work. Um, and then for the cesarean, you just want to make sure that you're addressing the scar, um, tissue. So you want to even do mobility and stretches that start to open up and not put so much rounded tension onto the scar and then

[00:41:21] starting to implement scar mobilization away from the scar and then on the scar as you're able. So there's just different ways that you're kind of healing and addressing the body. Again, I'll try to put this in all into a free download for you guys. We already have the cesarean download, but I'll try for the vaginal. Your hair looks great. That's what someone said. Yeah. Um, are you doing anything or taking anything? I'm six weeks postpartum and losing hair.

[00:41:49] No, I mean, so here's the other thing. Me and my cousin were talking about this. We had babies like a couple of days apart and we both had the dryness of the scalp, like a month out. I feel like it happened a lot sooner, um, this time than it did the first time around. And we also live in Southern California and just had the fires. It was super, super dry here and my body was, and she's

[00:42:15] my cousin. So we're very similar. Our bodies respond the same. So I, I attribute it to postpartum, but also the weather and just having extra dryness on my scalp. So I'm still dealing with that. I still have some dryness of my scalp. Um, I'm using products, but I'm also just not paying attention to it as much. I'm losing some hair, but I wouldn't say a ton. Then number one thing that you

[00:42:40] can do beyond buying all, you know, I, I do, I'm using Divi. So I use Divi shampoo conditioner and the scalp serum. So I'm still trying to do all the things, but I think nourishing your body as much as you can and doing what you can for your mental health is what's going to support your inner body as much as you can. And then also know that I have also heard you're like during third trimester, you put a lot of hair on, it's natural to have a lot of hair fall off and that's okay.

[00:43:09] Yeah. I think that you've honestly answered most of these questions that have come through because so many of them are asking about C-section versus, um, I think that it's funny. One of them said C-section or vaginal, which do you prefer? Which kind of birth do you prefer? Which I answered in the, in the last birth podcast. Yeah. And you kind of just said it's not as much about preference. It's just like there are

[00:43:32] major differences that you want to consider with either out. Totally. Um, this person is wanting to be back next baby. Were you anxious about the risks, uterine rupture? We talked about that. I would say more in the birth podcast. Um, but go to vbacklink.com also has a blog article on uterine rupture and to actually be able to see the stats

[00:43:58] and the breakdown and how uncommon it actually is. It's not a super common thing. So, um, yes, it can happen. And yes, being aware and understanding the risk, I think it's good, but you totally, you totally can. Yeah. Last question. Cause I think it's the only one you've said nothing about is wearing a belly band after. Oh, that's a good one. Okay. So here's something that I also felt very different from my last pregnancy. So with, or last, uh, postpartum journey. So with the

[00:44:28] cesarean birth, I had these postpartum leggings that would really, were really tight around the abdomen area. And that felt great because I wanted the compression around my cesarean scar. And I had no, again, I had no symptoms on my pelvic floor. So I didn't feel anything. I felt really just, I already had the support from my pelvic floor. So I felt even more supported wearing those

[00:44:50] postpartum leggings. I wore those for like half a day. Um, after the vaginal birth, very early on, it was the two week appointment for Luca. And I felt way more heaviness into my, I remember that whole day you're walking around being like, Oh my gosh, I just feel awful today. My pelvic floor is so heavy. Cause you didn't know at first that it was the leggings. Yes. Then

[00:45:15] later that night, you're just like, Oh my God, it was those postpartum leggings. They were so tight on my belly. Yes. They forced everything down. Yep. Because I had no support. I already had all those symptoms that were happening down there in my pelvic floor. And so you add that compression on the top and it's, where's, if it, if there's no support down there and you add all the compression in the middle, where's it going to go? It's like squeezing on that chicken egg or the chicken egg,

[00:45:41] that rubber chicken that goes down, you know, if you squeeze the middle, it's going to go down. So I felt more heaviness because I was wearing those leggings. So I actually couldn't wear those leggings. Also I was, I went into my last, my, this pregnancy, 10 pounds heavier than my first I gained more weight this pregnancy. Um, I had a bigger baby this pregnancy. So there was just a lot

[00:46:07] of those changes where I had more weight on me. So also going into those postpartum leggings didn't feel good for me. What felt better was wearing like, um, postpartum bloomers. So from Bayo Bay, we have a discount code too, that I can link up. Um, I think that still works. They have these postpartum bloomers that help support from the bottom up. And so rather than compressing into the belly, they really support from the bottom up. So if you're going to get a wrap, I think it's

[00:46:37] better, uh, post cesarean than, than post vaginal. And you want to make sure that the support either way kind of goes from up to from down, from the bottom up is what I'm trying to say. Yeah. You don't want to just be too squished in the middle and you definitely don't want a belly band. That's going to restrict your breathing. It's talking a lot. Um, you want to be able to

[00:47:04] still breathe from the lateral ribs. Remember I said that's such a key component to healing. Oh, and one last thing I had seen someone comment about a flat stomach. How long does it take to get a flat tummy? Yeah. And another, how long, like how to safely lose the baby weight. And I hate those questions. I'm sorry. I understand we're all like in this pressure to look a certain way afterwards, but for me getting back to working out, it was because I wanted to reconnect and feel

[00:47:31] strong within my body. And I actually started doing lunges around four weeks because I needed to be able to get the baby off the ground and not feel like I'm going to fall over. Working out for me is because I'm wanting to support my life, my babies, my run around, throw Dante, throw, you know, not throw Luca, but, but carry and, and feel strong and supported without pain in my back, my shoulders, my knees, my hips, but the normal places that everyone feels pain. So that's why I work out.

[00:48:00] I don't work out to necessarily look a certain way. Do I now, do I have the desire to eventually get those aesthetics? Sure. But my main priority is feeling strong in my body for my babies and being able to nurse and provide nourishment. So it's not on losing weight right now. Especially if you're breastfeeding, like trying to lose weight too quickly, you know, with, you can really impact your supply. You need to be at a calorie deficit, but then you can impact your supply. Yes.

[00:48:28] And aesthetics are always really difficult to talk about because like you said, like there, I believe it is okay to have a desire to look a certain way, but I think that comes more from a place of being able to be happy about the way you look. And that, that doesn't have to necessarily be tied to a specific aesthetic. And often you'll find when people approach it in a way, like you

[00:48:52] just said, when movement has a different purpose other than solely the aesthetic, when movement has the purpose of feeling like you can move well, feeling like for me, it's going running with my dog and going out, you know, being able to pick up and run around with my child and not be completely out of breath. That's when the aesthetic starts to come, but you'll find that you don't have to achieve that perfect body that you think you need to. You just start to have more general happiness

[00:49:20] with the way that you look because you're able to appreciate what your body can do more. And I will say, if you're feeling pressure from a partner to look a certain way, the best, like sit them down, have a conversation with them and say, first of all, do you see this beautiful human that I just created for us? You're welcome. And, and say the best way that you can support me in this moment is by allowing me the time

[00:49:47] and taking care of the baby so that I can go and, and feel strong within my body. Not so that I can go and lose weight, not so that I can look a certain way, but so that I get to be strong for our family and take care of the babies the way that I need to. Um, and I just, it breaks my heart a little bit. If anyone is feeling that pressure because of a partner, I am so blessed and grateful to not feel

[00:50:11] that from you. Um, and to have that support from you to even have the support to work out. Um, but that's the best way that a partner can support you and, and feeling good. And, but please don't, especially if you are planning to exclusively breastfeed or pump, um, try not to focus on the losing weight aspect. Try to focus on what you can be doing. I need to

[00:50:37] nourish my body. What foods do I need to nourish my body? My baby, what movements do I need to nourish my body to feel good again, to feel strong again, to feel reconnected to my core? Um, that is always how I'm going to approach it. Do I look in the mirror and not recognize my body? Yeah. Yeah. And is it hard for me sometimes for sure? Yeah. And I just have to continue to remind myself, you know,

[00:51:04] we're early on in this game and I have a whole lifetime. I'll have a whole lifetime right now. Now it's really my time to just get back into feeling strong and reconnecting and taking care and being able to nurse my baby. That is my goal. That's my goal right now. And so I have to be so focused on my goal and know that I have a lifetime. I can be that strong, you know, older mom that looks amazing later. Yeah. I mean, and you brought up the feeling pressure from a partner to look a certain

[00:51:31] way, or if they're saying things about your body, um, and how they don't like how you look or how they want you to get back to a certain body that they can have a lot of thoughts about that. First thing that comes to mind is that's bullshit. And, um, there's a deeper, deeper thing there that needs exploring probably within your partner, because if that's what they're focused on early postpartum or at any point postpartum, um, yeah, that, that upsets me a bit. So that's a little bit

[00:52:01] about our postpartum journey. Yeah. Um, Jen's healing a little bit that I need to get back to our little man scream in the background. Um, so of course, always reach out. I mean, we've got the pelvic floor plan that kind of goes along with this conversation or the pelvic floor, um, course pelvic floor foundations will link up that kind of goes along with this conversation, but yeah, thank you for listening. Thanks so much for listening for another episode from the optimal body podcast. If you know anybody who's in their postpartum phase or feel like this would be

[00:52:31] helpful to them, please pass it along. Like I mentioned, we have that pelvic floor foundations course as a podcast listener. You can get a bonus discount using code optimal 10 on that. Please consider leaving a rating and review on your favorite podcasting platform, and we'll see you next time.